“The river glideth at his own sweet will”

19 May 2022

Two days before the match so time to tourist. We decided to check out a river cruise from Westminster to Greenwich return. The idea was recommended to me by a twitter friend who knows his onions; so why not? Dan pre-bought the tickets and we turned up at Westminster Bridge about 11am after a leisurely start to the day. I had saved Wordsworth’s sonnet on Westminster Bridge on my phone to recite to the boys as an appropriate starting point. I was told quite bluntly what to do with it only a few lines in. Oh well.

This City now doth like a garment wear

The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,

Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie

Open unto the fields, and to the sky;

All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.

Then again, fair enough boys. A few things have changed since Wordsworth’s days.

The trip was fascinating and enjoyable. The patter of the “I’m not an official tour guide” tour guide was witty repartee interspersed with truly interesting factoids. Leaving the bridge at the lowest point of the tide we learned that the Thames, in its London reaches, is a tidal river (which explains something of the opening page of Conrad's Heart of Darkness). Other gems included the canal that branches off the river and wends its way oop north. Tower of London. New Globe. Some tremendously old pubs dot the banks nestled between some signs of ostentatious wealth. One of them was a scene of press-ganging in the past and Charles Dickens frequented a number of them. All of this was conveyed breezily by our cheeky-chappy narrator and we arrived at Greenwich full of cheer and facts.

We decided to stay on at Greenwich for lunch and to check out the observatory. I was intrigued to see the datum point for how we measure time globally.




After a pleasant couple of hours we headed back. The same cheeky-Chappy was telling the same stories with the same punch lines. Rather than being bothered by this we sympathised with his having to repeat the lines throughout the day, debating the number of times he would have to deliver it. I went with 12. And to be fair we learned some new stuff as well. Did you know the Big Ben is not the tower but the bell? And a Union Jack is a union flag displayed on wooden mast on a vessel.


This, for example, is not a Union Jack.



He also pointed out that the Houses of Parliament is the world’s largest example of Gothic architecture.

So, back to Clapham. We stopped at Borough Markets for a snack and then returned to Clapham for a pub meal, in time to see Everton save itself from relegation and us from the vague, unhappy prospect of having to endure Jordan Pickford play against Sunderland next season.

Oh. That’s right, there’s a game on satda. I’d nearly forgotten.